Rainy Days

It's raining today (again), and we so we are stuck inside. Elizabeth's trying to go to sleep, but the thunder isn't help much. I have been without a phone all week because I left it in my mom's car last Saturday when she picked me up at the Houston airport during my 4 hour leftover (note that I could have driven HOME in that time), but it was good to see my mom. And my dad got to meet us, too. But it's difficult not having a phone, especially being on the road for so long each day.

The bluebonnets are blooming here, and we've been wanting to take Elizabeth's picture in them, but it has been raining here for about 3 weeks straight. Hopefully I can take those pics soon. I like the rain and everything--it makes everything so green and we Texans must treasure the green for it won't last long!--but I also like for Elizabeth to be able to play outside and to not get soaked every time I walk anywhere.

Hope your day is going well! Here are a few pictures of Elizabeth. She did NOT want to play in the rain, unlike her cousin Barrett loves to do. She likes to be clean and did not appreciate me setting her down on our back porch!! She kept saying, "It's wet, Mama. No. No."

Back from NYC

I have just returned from a week-long national writing conference in NYC. I presented my research to other colleagues, caught up with old friends and colleagues, and explored the city when I found the time. I had never been to New York before and so I was really excited. Our conference was at the Hilton in Manhattan and so we had a wonderful location, in the middle of everything and right near Times Square and Broadway. I'll post some pictures lately, but for now, I'll just tell you about one experience--the trip to the World Trade Center site.

My friend Beth and I went down to the World Trade Center site. I don't know if you have been there or not, but it was a harrowing and eerie experience. I don't really know what I was expecting. But I'll tell you what occurred:

We walked up to the area where they have built a small memorial to the people who lost their lives in the WTC. The names of each person is printed on a plaque and around the names are pictures, not of the victims, but of the mourners. I was surprised (and a little embarrassed) how emotional I became. One picture, in particular, moved me to tears, and I tried to hold back the sobs. The picture was of a police officer in a long line of other police officers. He was in the act of saluting, tears were coming down his cheeks, and he was in the middle of a sob. This picture showed real anguish. The emotion of the picture stirred emotion in me. I continued looking at the pictures and then went to this pillar that describes what they hope to build in place of the Twin Towers. The new building is nice and has a lot of meaning (the base of the new tower will be the same as the two towers put together and the top will have part of it as tall as Tower 1 and part of it as tall as Tower 2). Another thing that stuck out to me about this particular memorial was the silence. Even though it was raining and we are surrounding by the city sounds of the street, silence still permeated the area.

And then when I looked up and over the towering fence around the site, all I saw was a bunch of empty space. Though I never saw the actual towers, the empty space brought me back to that awful, terrible day. The day that we should never forget. Not only for those people who lost their lives and their families but for all of America. There are some remains of the building still standing in the empty hole, which goes to show you how long this whole reconstruction process is taking. Construction workers and their vehicles are everywhere, and the dust and the dirt still remain. How long will it take to get this old stuff out of here before we can get to the new? When will we heal from this ordeal? Ever?

Many of my colleagues at the conference didn't want to go see the site--and didn't. Either they weren't ready or they thought it was too political or they didn't want to be "depressed," as one of my friends put it. I'm glad I went, though, even though it was hard to see.

Pictures!!

Sweet Elizabeth. She loves her baby and she loves her beads.

Most of these pictures were taken when we were in Ruidoso over Christmas with Shane's family. I know they are 3 months old, and Elizabeth has really changed, but these are so cute.


Shane and Elizabeth all bundled up.
We saw this deer right outside of the house we were staying in. Elizabeth was fascinated.

A family picture of the Alexander clan. That's our cute niece Eleanor that Granna's holding.

"No, Momma. No, No, Momma."

These are Elizabeth's favorite words right now. I hear her saying them even when she's in her bedroom playing all by herself. We went to Houston last weekend and she said them for about an hour and a half, constantly. I didn't really understand why she was saying them. I don't know if she's mad at me, or . if she's only repeating back--in the EXACT same tone of voice--what she's heard me say too many times: "No, Elizabeth. We don't hit people." or "No, no. We just put your shoes and socks on. Please don't take them off." or "No, Elizabeth. We don't draw on the coffee table." or "No, Elizabeth. Don't touch the treadmill. You could get hurt."

I guess she doesn't like being told no. I mean, who really does like being told no? We all have different ways of dealing with this answer (that we rarely want to hear). Wouldn't we all really like to be given the Ok to behave like a toddler every once in a while: no holds bar. We could throw ourselves on the ground in frustration, or mischievously walk up to the treadmill and hang from the railing in defiance, or run and scream and pound on the wall, all of which Elizabeth does--without abashment, with reckless abandonment, and with true force. Sometimes I want to throw a fit, that's for sure. When I don't get an article accepted in a journal, I want to cry. Or when a friend gently rebukes me, my pride sometimes gets in the way from hearing their sweet spirit. Or when God tells me "no" about something I think I wanted, I want to raise my hands in the air and yell, "But why not, God?" But instead of these expressions, I usually hold back my emotions, not wanting to get too caught up in these moments, these emotions, because then I will have to deal with my own inability to accept the answer "no." Perhaps I can learn something from my little toddler about expressing myself, perhaps not in the same way that she does--although I respect that reckless abandonment and honest spirit--but in the need to express myself at all, to express my reactions to life's disappointments, to react and respond, in a loving way, about my insecurities and fears. What a lesson my child is for me. She's already started saying, "I sorry, Mommy," and "Me obey." Thank you, God, for grace and forgiveness and the beautiful, pure, and HONEST heart of my child who daily teaches me about your grace and your truths.

I hope you're having a wonderful day.

Food Fights

I think I am part of one of the only marriages in which we "fight," if you want to call it that, over who gets to cook meals on a given day. It's really very funny if you think about it. I'll go to the store and get food for 3 or 4 meals, and then Shane comes home with food he wants to cook for several nights. We have all this food and we have to alternate so we each get to do what we love. Shane is a huge fan of Alton Brown (smart guy, but really, really odd) and so everything he cooks is scientifically crafted to be just right, kind of like that magazine where they test out all these recipes to find just the right ingredients for the "best of" a certain food. Most of my food on the other hand comes from all the other chefs on the Food Network: Rachael Ray, Paula Deen, Robin Miller, Emeril, Tyler Florence, and Giada "put some clothes on!" Laurentis. We both enjoy cooking...I think it's because it's one of the few hobbies we have been able to keep with a toddler running around.

So, we are having a lot of "Good Eats" at our house. We just fight over who gets to make them. I think it's time for a bigger kitchen!

Our daughter: A bully or a flirt?

We got our first bad report about our daughter at Mother's Day Out yesterday. Apparently, Elizabeth is really into tormenting the boys. Whenever the boys are lying down or sitting down playing on the ground, she goes over to them and sits on top of them. Yes, she sits on them, holding them down so they can't get up, until they start crying. And when this happens, she laughs at them. Oh no, what have we gotten ourselves into? Either she really likes boys (already?!!) or she's being a bully (really?!!) and likes to be mean to other children. Either choice doesn't seem too desirable to me right now. Who knows? Maybe she's both?!! What is a mother to do?

Pictures at 14 months

I finally downloaded my camera...287 images!! And now I'm uploading a few of those pics. I'm out-of-town right now and don't have them all on this computer, but I'll upload more later when I get back home. Here's our sweet Elizabeth...

Shane and Elizabeth eating at a restaurant in Waco on the Brazos River.

My 30th birthday! Wow!

BAYLOR BOUND!!!???

Last weekend we drove to Arlington to see our new baby niece, Eleanor Abigail. We stayed with my cousin Cody Walton and his wife Chesley one night. Elizabeth had a lot of fun playing with her (3rd?) cousin Garrett. By the way, Elizabeth now has FIVE cousins within 14 months of her older and younger. Wow!

This picture is on our way home. Elizabeth is hugging her two favorite stuffed animals--Bevo and her little lamb.

She says "Bevo" by the way. For all those who know Shane, this fact should come as no suprise.

I doubt any future composition Elizabeth does will be as sweet as this one. And she's so proud!

Thanks for the delay

So, I’m on a plane right now, typing on my new laptop (I’m quite excited that I can actually work on my computer without it being plugged in). In the past four years, every time I’ve traveled anywhere, I couldn’t use my computer because the battery never worked. Even when I got a new $100 replaceable one for Christmas, my laptop wouldn't work. Bizarre. Thankfully (??), that laptop died the other day and I got a new one!!!). But I digress. I just finished grading 14 essays from students taking my technical and professional writing class. I began today and ended today, thanks to a five-hour plane delay, no other responsibilities at the moment, no daughter running around me, and no dinner to fix. This task of grading a single set of essays typically takes me two weeks. Today, however, with this delay and my persistence to finish them before the conference I’m attending begins, I was able to finish grading them. Yippee!!

Not only did I complete the essays (on the plane. Right now, I’m somewhere over Tennessee on my way to Louisville), but I also got to see my dad. What a treat that was! He just happened to be in Houston today, which is unusual for the middle of the week, so I got to see him for a quick minute. He took me to Sonic (yum!) and we sipped our drinks together. I didn’t get my usual Route 44 vanilla Diet Coke, easy ice, though. Instead I got the medium size (of the same variety, of course) because I would have had to throw it away when I went back through security anyway. At least we can buy something there to bring on the plane. I have to have something to drink as I drive (non-alcoholic of course).

Shane called me a minute ago, and his first words were, “Do you want to know something that will make your heart break?” Hmm. Do I? All I want to know is if Elizabeth is all right? Is she? OK? Tell me whatever you want to now that I know she’s OK.

He proceeds to tell me that when he brought Elizabeth home from Amy’s today, she runs into the house and goes straight to the room that we call our office and bangs on the door, calling, “Mama. Mama. Mama.” When nobody answered, she starts banging on the master bedroom door. “Mama. Mama! Mama!” Still no answer. So, Shane opens the bedroom door to let her in. She runs into the room, looks around, and then runs into the bathroom expectantly. Nope, no Mama there either. So she sits down on the floor and cries. Then Shane asks her, “Ah, honey. Do you want to call Mama?” And she shakes her head yes. They call me, and I proclaim my love for her and how much I miss her and how much I love her and how I can’t wait to see her. Then, suddenly the phone goes dead. She had hung up on me. Now she has broken my heart.